


co-parenting for beginners

by VillainousTalking (rainbowshoes)



Series: pray for the wicked [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Irondad, M/M, May Parker is the only functioning adult in the MCU, May learns Peter is Spiderman, Precious Peter Parker, Protective May Parker (Spider-Man), Protective Tony Stark, TiredAunt, spiderson, there's also a "mystery" person at the end, who could it be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 09:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15946961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowshoes/pseuds/VillainousTalking
Summary: when may finds peter in his spider suit, she knows there's only one person who could have given him something like that - and she's pissed. she demands tony come over for a conversation about his role in all this, and things...don't exactly go the way she planned.well, at least she gets something out of all this insane crazy shit going on in her life, right? and she can rest a little easier now, too. maybe. (if the anxiety doesn't kill her first)





	co-parenting for beginners

Tony is sitting in a meeting for some kind of SI thing that he, honestly, isn't paying any attention to when his phone rings. His phone...isn't supposed to ring. Not in meetings. FRIDAY knows that. She makes sure to silence it for him as soon as he goes through the door so he doesn't interrupt anyone who thinks they're important. So when it rings, he mutters an apology and slips out into the hall with Pepper’s patented death glare following him out the door. He takes his phone from his pocket and sighs when he sees the name on the screen.

“Aunt May!” he greets with far too much false cheer. “How are you this afternoon? Still beautiful, I'm sure.”

“Cut the shit, Stark,” May snaps into the phone. And oh boy, she's  _ pissed _ . Tony cringes just a little. “You and I need to have a conversation. Not tomorrow, not in two hours,  _ now _ . It takes forty-five minutes to get to my apartment from Stark Tower, so I expect you here within the hour. If you make me wait, you will regret ever speaking to Peter even once in your miserable life.” She ends the call, and the silence after reminds Tony of the days when one could slam the phone in satisfied righteous anger. 

Texts from Peter immediately begin to flood his phone.  _ Im so sorry mr stark! _ And  _ she saw me in the suit  _ and  _ she figured it out! I couldnt lie to her _

Tony texts Peter back with  _ its fine omw _ and nothing else. He texts Pepper next.  _ Emergency. Not iron man. Bbl _ as he walks to the elevator. He makes it to the doors and presses the button before Pepper storms out of the meeting and rushes at him. He's honestly terrified of how she can possibly move so quickly on four-inch Louboutin stilettos, but he doesn't dare try and stop her. He really doesn't need a stab wound in the shape of one of those heels, and he'd hate for Pepper to ruin her nice shoes anyway. He's pretty sure he bought her those as a gift. Or, well, she bought them for herself with his credit card. Same thing, really.

“What the  _ hell _ , Tony?” Pepper hisses, coming close enough to whisper in his ear. There are several other people in the big office space in front of the elevators watching them. No one really knows about their breakup, and they want to keep it that way for now - at least until they're ready to break the news the way they want to. Can't have some gossipy office worker go and sell the story to a magazine. 

Tony wraps his arm around her waist with a bright, fake smile, and leads her into the elevator once the doors open. They're alone, and he hopes FRIDAY will keep it that way. As soon as the doors close, he drops his arm and she backs out of his personal space. Hopefully everyone will think they're leaving for a quickie or something.

“Peter's aunt called,” Tony tells her with a tired sigh, letting his false cheer bleed away until Pepper can see the stress in his face. “I have to go talk to her. She found out Peter is Spiderman.”

“Oh Christ,” Pepper mutters, pressing her fingers to her forehead. “Tony, what the hell? She didn't know? I thought you said you were being responsible!”

“The kid said he didn't want her to worry,” Tony says, but he knows it's a weak defense. “Look, it's not like he does anything that dangerous. When I found out he was, I took the suit to try and stop him. Not that it worked, but hey, he's sticking to bike thieves and helping little old ladies cross the street now. He's getting paid in churros for fuck's sake.”

“Tony!” Pepper is nearly screeching. “He was almost an Avenger! He almost  _ was _ doing a lot that is really, really dangerous!”

“And he said no!” Tony snaps. “Look, if he'd said yes, I'd have forced him to tell his aunt. But he said no, he's sticking to purse snatchers, and I kept my nose out of his personal business. I may have told the world I was Iron Man, but I get that most people don't want to be that recognizable.” Tony pinches the bridge of his nose. “I was trying to do right by the kid, okay, Pep?”

“Don't ‘Pep’ me,” Pepper sighs. She's quiet for a second, then she says, “Well, cat's out of the bag now. Have fun dealing with an irate parent for putting their kid in danger. I'm not helping you talk your way out of this one.” The elevator doors finally open, and Pepper slips out of the elevator, subtly adjusting her skirt to keep up the appearance that they've just had some kind of elevator quickie. It works for the lie, but it just makes Tony bitter. He'd always enjoyed sex with Pepper, but pretending they're fucking and not actually fucking is annoying. 

“Always so supportive,” Tony mutters. He straightens his tie as he cuts by the small crowd gathered in front of the elevator bank. Happy is waiting for him by the front doors, and Tony can see the Rolls Royce parked just beyond. The Rolls is nice, of course, but Tony really wants his Spyder right now. He wants to drive upstate and just burn all the gas out of his tank going entirely too fast. He owes May an explanation though. Probably. Tony doesn't exactly have the patience to drive himself through the city and all the way to Queens, so he'll let Happy drive the Rolls and sit in the back and quietly panic the entire time. 

“Where to, Boss?” Happy asks as Tony walks outside with him. Happy even opens the back door for Tony, which is really unnecessary, but it doesn't matter how many times Tony tells him that, he still always does it.

“The kid's apartment,” Tony says, already feeling tired. Happy frowns at the tone, but he doesn't question Tony, just shuts the door and walks around to the driver's side to get behind the wheel.

Happy doesn't say anything until they're on Kennedy Bridge. “What's happened with the kid?”

“Oh, you know,” Tony mutters without looking up from his phone, “his aunt found out about the superhero-ing.”

Happy hisses in sympathetic pain. “Need me to come up, boss?”

“Nah,” Tony says, glancing up at Happy's face looking at him through the rearview mirror. “If she kills me, I'll deserve it.”

“I'm still your bodyguard,” Happy points out. Tony smiles a little. He's pretty much always been mostly useless without his suit. So many people have laughed at the thought of Iron Man needing a bodyguard, but what they never realized was that, until recently, Tony never really knew a whole lot about fighting. Happy was always there to keep Tomy safe, though, and Tony would never deny that. 

“You are,” Tony confirms, “but I put her kid in danger. I deserve to have my ass kicked.”

Happy doesn't look happy about that, but he doesn't argue. Tony goes back to answering emails and fucking with the R&D department in one of the ways he likes best - by pretending to be someone who works with them and asking really stupid questions, just to see how much they actually know. They're surprisingly patient with his idiotic questions, though, and it makes Tony happy to see how often they invite him to their Slack and even to get drinks. Maybe Tony will reveal himself at some point, but not yet. He hasn't broken in to their department to fix absolutely everything they're having trouble with in a while, so maybe he’ll entertain himself with that tonight if May doesn't actually murder him.

Tony zones out from his surroundings until Happy opens the car door for him. Then he's all sighs and pouty looks as he steps out of the car. Happy insists on walking upstairs with him, at the very least, but he promises to stay out in the hall. Tony insists on it. He really doesn't need to give May the impression that he might be threatening her.

When he reaches the door, he knocks. It takes all of three seconds for it to fly open. The all-smiles Aunt May is furious and red-cheeked right now, and Tony can't even pretend not to be just a little terrified. He might be a little tiny bit turned on, but she certainly doesn't need to know that. There's only one person who  _ does _ need to know, and as that person isn't around at the moment, Tony is perfectly fine with keeping that information all to himself.

“Mr. Stark,” May says coldly.

“Hi, Aunt May,” Tony says, at least attempting to sound happy. It doesn't work very well. He steps inside as she steps back, and she slams the door behind him. “Listen -”

“No,  _ you _ listen,” May says through gritted teeth. “I cannot  _ fucking  _ believe you gave Peter that suit! How insane are you? He's fifteen! He could have been killed!”

“Look, I had a nice long drive to think about this -”

“Yes, you did,” May says, still fuming, “and I had that time to think of exactly what I wanted to say to you, too, mister.” She jabs him in the chest with one sharp fingernail and Tony winces slightly. 

“Can I just, please, tell you something first?” Tony asks.

She forces herself to take a breath. She turns away from him and walks through the apartment to the kitchen. He watches her comb her hands through her thick brown hair, then she turns around to look at him. “Go ahead. You deserve that, I suppose.”

“Thank you,” Tony says with a small nod. “Look, I keep a certain eye out for anyone who does any sort of vigilante justice, okay? I sort of run the Avengers ever since SHIELD went down in literal flames, and I like to keep tabs on anyone I might be able to recruit. I found videos of Peter on YouTube, okay? He can stop a minivan going forty miles per hour with his bare hands. He's...strong. And fast. He was doing his whole crime-fighting bit before I stepped in with the suit, but he was doing it in his pjs. I knew I couldn't stop him, okay? And he has a really good argument for that if you'll ask him why he does this. But I figured I could at least keep him safer while he did it. I put a tracker in his suit, I made the fabric out of some really handy stuff that's stab-proof and even bulletproof at all but point-blank range. It absorbs impact and all kinds of stuff, okay?”

“So, what, you think that because you gave him a way to be a little safer while he goes out there to get himself killed every night, I wouldn't be mad at you for this?” May asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No,” Tony admits, shaking his head. “I'm just trying to explain my thoughts. I offered Peter a place with the Avengers. If he'd said yes, that would have put him in real danger, and I'd have forced him to tell you about everything. But this? What he does right now? May, he stops bike thieves and purse-snatchers. He helps little old ladies cross the street and he gives tourists directions. He isn't doing anything dangerous. The one time he did, I stepped in, and I took the suit.”

“I thought you said you couldn't stop him from doing this?” May snarks. She drags her eyes over to Peter's closed bedroom door. Tony knows Peter can hear every word of this. “I can't believe he would be so - so irresponsible!”

“Can I play something?” Tony asks, taking his phone out of his pocket. “This might help - a little anyway. Just to help you understand my thoughts, not to help you forgive me. I don't really think I deserve that.”

“Mr. Stark, that's not fair!” Peter shouts, his bedroom door flying open. It's obvious the kid's been crying, and Tony feels a little sick at that. He's in some old sweats and a tee shirt, but Tony can see the suit on his computer chair behind him. “May, you shouldn't be mad at him! I told you, this is all on me.”

“That's big of you, Peter,” May says, “but Stark is the one who gave you that suit in the first place. I really don't want to imagine all the horrible things he's let you do while you were in it, but my mind keeps coming up with these awful scenarios anyway.” She laughs slightly hysterically and presses her lips tightly together.

Peter opens his mouth, but Tony holds up a finger for silence. “Kid? Zip it.” Peter pales a little, but he nods. May looks confused, but Tony just presses a button on his phone. “FRIDAY, play the conversation Peter and I had after the ferry incident.”

“Yes, Boss,” FRIDAY answers. 

“The  _ ferry _ -” May starts to screech, but she stops herself. 

Tony’s voice fills the small apartment through his phone's speaker. “Previously on Peter Screws the Pooch… I tell you to stay away from this. Instead, you hacked a multimillion-dollar suit so you could sneak around behind my back doing the one thing I told you not to do.” Tony doesn't look at either of them. He despises how angry he sounds.

“ls everyone okay?” Peter doesn't really sound concerned, but that he even thought to ask, and ask that first, says a lot about him to Tony.

“No thanks to you.” Tony winces at how cold he sounds, how harsh.

“No thanks to me? Those weapons were out there, and I tried to tell you about it, but you didn’t listen!” Peter sounds so desperate, and it hurts that Tony didn't notice that in person. “None of this would’ve happened if you had just listened to me. If you even cared, you’d actually be here.” And that's where Tony feels himself break every single time he listens to this conversation, because he can hear the heartbreak in Peter's voice.

“I did listen, kid. Who do you think called the FBI, huh? Do you know I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid.” Tony knows he  _ was  _ crazy to try and recruit a kid, but that isn't the point. Never was.

“I’m 15.” And, god, but Peter sounds exactly like Tony at that age.

“No, this is where you zip it, all right? The adult is talking. What if somebody had died tonight? Different story, right? Because that’s on you. And if you died? I feel like that’s on me. I don’t need that on my conscience.” Tony hates how bitter and tired he sounds - how bitter and tired he'd  _ felt _ then. 

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry. I understand.” Tony hadn't thought Peter sounded very sorry at the time, and he still doesn't, but he does think Peter understands.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it.”

“I just wanted to be like you.” The soft sound of tears in Peter's voice is enough to make Tony feel sick to his stomach now.

“And I wanted you to be better.” He’s so harsh, so  _ angry _ . And he hates himself for it. But he was telling the truth. He’s always wanted more for Peter. “It’s not working out. I’m gonna need the suit back.” Tony grimaces at himself on the recording.

“For how long?”

“Forever.” Tony can easily picture Peter's horrified expression. “Yeah, that’s how it works.”

“No, no. Please.”

“Let’s have it.”

“Please, this is all I have. I’m nothing without this suit.” Peter's begging has Tony wishing he had a stiff drink right now to deal with this entire situation, but he can't let himself think too much about that or he'll just...go get one. And no one will even think to try and stop him.

“If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it. Okay? God, I sound like my dad.” 

“I don’t have any other clothes.”

“Okay, we’ll sort that out.”

The recording ends and Tony puts his phone back in his pocket. He looks at May and sees her chewing on her lip. “I took the suit, but I gave it back. Wanna know why? This guy, the Vulture, broke into a stealth plane and tried to steal a whole crate full of arc reactors. Peter stopped him. Without his suit. He stopped this guy in his stupid pajamas. And he got hurt because of it. I couldn't have that on my conscious. Because that's on me, too, and if Peter is going to risk his life like that, I'm at least going to give him the tools to make it a little less of a risk.”

“Jesus Christ, Peter,” May says in a thick, watery voice. She looks at Peter at last and shakes her head a little. “Mr. Stark here said I should ask you why you do this. So?”

Peter stares at the floor. “When you can do the things that I can, but you don't…and then the bad things happen… they happen because of you.” Tony wonders if Peter knows he's saying the exact same thing he'd said to Tony, but he probably does. Something about that little speech seems to affect May way more than it did Tony, and Tony had been pretty damn touched considering he's been accused of being a sociopath on multiple occasions. 

May walks over to Peter and latches onto him with both arms. She hides her face in his hair for a long moment. Tony doesn't say or do anything while they have their little moment, he just stares at the wall and waits for someone to address him. It takes a while for May to stop crying, but Peter grabs a tissue for her and manages to extract himself from her hold.

“Sit down, Mr. Stark. We need to talk about a few things.” May flops more than sits in the worn armchair beside the couch. Tony sits on the far end, as far from her as he can get. “Peter, I'd really appreciate it if you went back to your room. You're still super grounded right now.”

“Yes, ma'am,” Peter says quietly, all the fight completely gone out of him. He slumps off to his room and closes the door with a soft click behind himself. 

“Just fair warning,” Tony says, “he can still hear us. He described it like all his senses being dialed up to eleven. I designed those sunglasses he has now, and the earbuds, too. Helps with the light and sound factors, at least.”

“That's…” May frowns. “Okay. I'll talk to him about that. I wish he'd have told me something was going on,  though. I guess I understand why he suddenly wanted to switch to contacts, now.”

“So. I know you're super pissed at me right now, and that's fair. I deserve that. But don't try and take the suit from him. I figured out the hard way that it doesn't end well.” Tony laces his fingers together in his lap and stares at them. “I just wanted to make sure he wouldn't get hurt, okay?”

“Okay.”

Tony's head snaps up at that. May doesn't look like she's going to explode from anger anymore, but Tony can't quite figure out why. He opens his mouth to question her, thinks better of it, and shuts his mouth once more. He doesn't want her to take it back.

“From now on, you'll train Peter to actually do...whatever it is he's doing,” May says. “If he's going to do this, you might as well make sure he does it right. Peter doesn't know how to fight. He's never even taken a self-defense class. You teach him or be the supervision while someone else teaches him.”

“I can make that happen,” Tony says quickly.

“Second stipulation. If Peter gets so much as a bruise while he's out doing this, and one of the two of you don't tell me? I'll make sure you suffer the exact same injury he does. Got it?” Tony only nods to that one. “Third, as payment for putting up with all this added stress and worry, you're going to take me out to a really nice restaurant twice a month, and while we're out, we can discuss Peter and everything he's doing as...Spiderman.”

“Deal,” Tony agrees quickly. “I'll get Pep to make sure you have all the right stuff for the places I usually go to.”

May flushes a little. “You'll explain to her that this isn't a real date, right?”

Tony is already on his phone texting Pepper the details. “Yeah, but we aren't together anymore anyway, so she doesn't really get a say regardless. But there's a reason I have a stylist, and there's another reason Pepper’s the one who hired her.” Tony shrugs easily. He gets a message back from Pepper and looks at May with a grin. “Tomorrow night, eight thirty? I'll have Happy drop by with a few boxes.”

“To-tomorrow?” May chokes out. “But -”

“You can make any other demands, tell me any restrictions for Peter, and we can come up with some kind of plan for over the summer.” Tony grins. “Sound good?”

“Um, yes?” May says, sounding just a little uncertain. 

“Great! Mind if I head back, then? I've got a few things to work on.” Tony stands. 

“Okay,” May says slowly. She stands and offers her hand for Tony to shake. Tony kisses the back of her hand instead with a wink, just to make her blush a little. “Mr. Stark, really -”

“Call me Tony, please.” He looks over at Peter's door. “You catch all that, kid?”

“Yes!” comes the shout back. Tony laughs a little.

“You're still grounded for not telling me!” May shouts back. 

“Trust me when I say I was up to much, much worse when I was his age,” Tony says with a soft laugh. He walks to the door, but stops once he gets it open. He looks over his shoulder at May. “Oh, and before I forget to mention it, Peter's already been accepted to MIT for his web fluid and he has a full-ride scholarship. Bye!” He steps out of the apartment and shuts the door to May's stunned expression. 

He chuckles a little to himself as he jogs down the hall. Happy follows quickly behind. May bursts through the apartment door with, “Mr. Stark!” on her lips just as Tony and Happy vanish into the stairwell. 

“I take it that went better than you thought it would?” Happy asks as they walk down the stairs.

“Mostly,” Tony answers. “I'll need you do run a few errands tomorrow, though, and you'll take May and me out to dinner tomorrow night.” Tony says the last bit with a ridiculous grin. Happy just rolls his eyes.

The ride back is much better than the ride over had been. Tony closes the divider between the front and back seats and calls one certain number in his phone with a soft smile. He listens to the ringing until a rough, grumbly voice grunts a short hello.

“Hey to you too,” Tony quips lightly. “So, wanted to fill you in on a few things, but first, answer a question for me. How do you feel about teaching a certain spiderling to fight?”

“His aunt finally find out?”

“Yep,” Tony says, his voice a little less happy.

“Told you she would.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony says, “save the ‘I told you so’ for when you're here in person and you can properly rub it in my face.” There's a soft laugh on the other end of the phone. “I'll take that as a yes?”

“Sure, I don't mind, doll.”

“Great. So, I've got a date with hot Aunt May tomorrow night and twice a month from now on,” Tony continues. “Part of our agreement. And she'll most likely want to meet you, too. You all right with that?”

“S'pose so. Can't be any worse than meeting Pepper was.”

“Nah,” Tony says. “May's a saint. Anyway, I'll talk to you about the rest soon, okay? I have to smooth things over with the board. Kind of ran out on a meeting to go deal with this.”

“Okay,” comes the soft, chuckled response. “See you soon?”

“You know it,” Tony says softly. He ends the call on that rather than trying to drag it out. He settles against the backseat feeling a good bit better. In a few days, he'll be back in Wakanda, and tomorrow night, he can shamelessly flirt with May all he likes just to watch her get all flustered. He wonders, briefly, how long it will take before she's just rolling her eyes and laughing at him. Probably not long, knowing just how smart her nephew is. 


End file.
